Note: With apologies to Newsweek…
Oakland As. In first place, and now they have Frank Thomas. Maybe they could donate some offense to the Giants.
Florida Marlins. Old CW: Team cheats fans with low payroll. New CW: Mets can spend all they want on Johan Santana; he can only pitch every fifth day.
Chicago Cubs. Win No. 10,000 came courtesy of Kerry Wood. Who had just blown a save. Which makes it completely representative of the team’s history.
J. P. Ricciardi. Old — and we mean old — CW: Billy Beane protege puts together team that could compete with Yankees and Red Sox. New CW: You released Frank Thomas to give more time to Matt Stairs and Rod Barajas?
NL East. You know, the Central is supposed to be the worst division in the league. Don’t give us a reason to re-evaluate that.
Bud Selig. Gets new drug policy, then turns around and grants amnesty to management figures implicated in Mitchell Report — something he’d already done for players. Well, not total amnesty — they might have to perform “community service.” Just say no to drug … punishments.
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